Pre-game:
On paper, the Phillies appear to be in outstanding shape to take game two of their pivotal series against the visiting Braves, as Roy Halladay goes for his 20th win.
But the Phils have won 8 straight and games are not played on paper. Expect more playoff tension at 10th and Pattison.
Top 1st:
The Braves know as well as anyone that Roy Halladay has experienced some fatigue during September, resulting in a 4.79 ERA and numerous home runs allowed.
This should be an advantage for a Braves team that leads the league in batters walked and pitches taken.
From his seat on the Phillies bench, the Lefty Knight continues honing his mind bending skills.
Hamels: "Halladay is vulnerable early."
Omar Infante: "Halladay will throw a first-pitch cookie."
Infante grounds Halladay's first pitch - a 91-mph sinker - to Wilson Valdez for an easy out.
Hamels: "You can't take pitches all night."
Jason Heyward: "I can wait . . . I can wait . . . I GOTTA SWING!!!"
Heyward grounds a 1-1 fastball softly to Ryan Howard for the second out.
Hamels: "You can't lay off the change-up."
Martin Prado: "This change-up is going YARD!!!"
Prado grounds weakly to Placido Polanco to end the inning.
Sith Lord Cox: "Weak-minded Fools!"
Bottom 1st: 0-0
Desperately needed to win, the Braves bring a double-whammy to the mound. Mike Minor is not only a rookie - which makes him dangerous for Phillies hitters - but he's also left-handed.
Shane Victorino, batting right-handed, pops a 1-1 change-up to short
Placido Polanco sends a wicked liner to center-field, but the ball hangs up for Rick Ankiel in shallow center.
Chase Utley works a 2-2 count and drills a fastball to center for a single.
Ryan Howard works the same count and gets the same pitch, producing the same result.
Sith Lord Cox sees a weak-mind of his own to bend . . .
Cox: "You get more runs if the ball travels further . . ."
Jayson Werth: "I'm gonna hit a FIVE-RUN HOMER!!!"
Swinging from his heels, Werth sends a Nitro Zone fastball 500-feet . . . into the sky. Martin Prado waits . . . and waits . . . and waits until the ball falls to earth. End of inning.
Hamels: "I sense the Dark Lord is near . . ."
Bottom 2nd: 0-0
Raul Ibanez fouls off three 3-2 pitches before grounding out to second.
Pitching 1-1 to Carlos Ruiz, Mike Minor misses the inside target of Brian McCann. But Ruiz misses his spot on the belt-high fastball and flies softly to left.
Super-sub Wilson Valdez keeps his hands back and smacks an opposite-field single to right.
Roy Halladay takes advantage of an E.L. Fudge cookie and singles past Infante at second.
As Wilson Valdez breaks for third on the 1-1 pitch to Victorino, Hamels takes on a stronger minded Atlanta foe.
Hamels: "Roy Halladay has blazing speed."
Brian McCann: "I'd better throw to first to keep Halladay honest . . . WHAT AM I THINKING???"
Slick fielding Derrick Lee keeps the game scoreless with a Jedi-like wave of his glove to snare McCann's ill-advised throw. Victorino then ends the inning with a weak grounder to short.
Bottom 3rd: 0-0
Bobby Cox cannot conjure enough mind tricks to keep Mike Minor's pitch count down as the game enters the third.
Placido Polanco works a leadoff walk, and Chase Utley follows with a wicked single to right.
Ryan Howard protects the outer half of the plate, and scolds a liner to right-field. But Jason Heyward manages to corral the ball for the first out.
Jayson Werth comes to the plate with a chance to ammend for his first-inning failure.
Cox: "You must swing even harder - the ball will fly further"
Hamels: "Stay within yourself, trust your own stength."
Werth: "My head hurts! Make these voices stop!"
Cox: "You hate the pain! Swing at the voices! Swing at the former teammate sticking out his tounge!"
Hamels: "Melody from the Miami Hooters likes patient guys with short swings!"
Werth: "MY GIRL!!! I'll swing short for you BABY!!!"
Mike Minor leaves a fastball over the plate, and Jayson Werth drives it to perfection. The ball arcs high and deep into the left-center field seats for a 3-run homer.
Lord Cox is enraged.
Cox: "Young Hamels has acquired great skill in the Force. But he cannot bend every player and umpire at once!"
After Werth's home run, the Phils re-load the bases on an Ibanez double, a intentional walk to Ruiz and an error by third baseman Martin Prado on a slow roller by Wilson Valdez
Roy Halladay, who has acquited himself well at the plate for a career American Leaguer, hopes to help his cause with the bases juiced and one out. Home plate umpire Mark Kellogg watches Cristhian Martinez's next pitch soar out of the strike zone.
Kellogg: "That isn't even close. I must call a ball."
Cox: "The pitch painted the inside corner; you'll call a strike."
Kellogg: "That pitch painted the inside corner; I'll call a strike."
Halladay and Shane Victorino strike out to end the threat.
Top 5th: PHI 3 - ATL 0
Leadoff hitter Alex Gonzalez bloops a weak fly toward right field. Jasyon Werth can't quite charge in quickly enough to make the catch.
Cox: "The score is tied; you must make the catch."
Werth: "I must dive for the ball."
Werth slides in vain and allows the ball to skip past for a double. Rick Ankiel singles to move Gonzalez to third, where he scores easily on Eric Hinske's fielder's choice grounder.
Top 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 1
Martin Prado fights off an inside fastball from Halladay for a leadoff single. Roy Halladay catches too much of the plate with 2-1 fastball, and Brian McCann sends a deep fly to the right field wall. Jayson Werth tracks it well and gets ready record the first out.
Cox: "The ball is too high! You'll need to jump to reach it!"
Werth: "Melody will dig this leaping catch on ESPN!"
Werth jumps up when he should step a foot to his left, and the ball falls just beyond his glove for a double. The Braves have runners at 2nd and 3rd with no outs.
Cole Hamels realizes what that Lord Cox has victimized his friend Jayson for the third time. In anger he is tempted to take on Cox directly. But an echoing voice gives him pause:
Jamie Moyer: "Violence will not this battle win . . . use the Force at the right moment."
Derrick Lee sends a fly ball to center to score Prado easily from third base. Brian McCann has seen Shane Victorino many times in NL East play and knows the Hawaiian has a tremendous arm.
Hamels: "Shane Victorino throws like a girl. You can walk to third."
McCann: "Lord Cox will be so proud that I moved up a base - WHAT AM I THINKING???"
The mortified catcher slides and stops five feet short of third base. The ball has been in Polanco's glove for about ten minutes, and Polly tags out the Atlanta catcher.
Bottom 6th: PHI 3 - ATL 2
The Braves pull Mike Dunn from their endless supply of bullpen flame-throwers. The left-hander easily retires Polanco and Utley before walking Ryan Howard. Jayson Werth's bid for two HRs falls about ten feet short as he settles for a single off the left-field wall.
Left-handed Raul Ibanez stands in against Dunn, hoping simply not to embarass himself.
Cole Hamels suddenly feels great power from the Force.
Hamels: "Dunn will throw a 94-mph fastball inner-half."
Dunn: "I think I can get this guy with a 94-mph fastball inner-half"
Ibanez: "No way he gets a 94-mph fastball past me on the inner-half"
Ibanez scolds Dunn's 2-2 fastball into the right field corner. Howard scores easily, but Jayson Werth has to cross three bases.
Hamels: "Melody digs how your hair flies when you run!"
Werth: "HEY BABY!!! CHECK OUT MY FLYING HAIR"
At 9:19 PM EST, the happiest Caveman in the world sprints across home plate to give the Phils a 5-2 lead.
Top 7th: PHI 5 - ATL 2
Wtih the bases empty and two outs, the Braves send Freddie Freeman to pinch hit for reliever Peter Moylan.
Roy Halladay tries to stop laughing at the name, but a chuckle escapes as he releases a first pitch fastball.
The fellow with the cartoon-character name sends Halladay's gift into the Phillies bullpen beyond right-center for his first major-league home run.
Freeman: "My Lord - I am forever indebted to you for making Halladay throw me that cookie!"
Cox: "Roy Halladay long ago learned to resist the Dark Side - that was an honest mistake. Besides, I was taking my Geritol while you were batting."
Ryan Madson comes in to pitch a scoreless eighth, and Brad Lidge collects his second save in as many nights to cap the Phils 5-2 win.
Final score: Phillies 5 - Braves 2
Magic Number to clinch NL East title: 6
I am Don Pigeon and I am OUT!!!
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